When there is a conflict, people flock to one side or the other to support them, be it a divorce or an international conflict. For those working with those parties trying to find an amicable solution, there is an expectation to empathise but not judge.
Listening to people who are angry, hurt and confused is hard without joining in. To listen properly one must let them speak, put one’s self in their position, feel what they felt. But to help fix the problem, one must not agree with everything they say as one would to a friend. This means inevitably internalising all their emotion. Then, when listening to the other party, doing that again.
I have found it is incredibly tough to do this, especially when over an extended period of weeks. It is amazingly draining, not physically or just mentally, but emotionally and something else too. There is something drained internally leaving one unable to make decisions or think of anything. It becomes all-absorbing and nothing else gets in.
There must be techniques to prevent or reduce this, or to alleviate it. Presumably those who conduct sessions at Relate or ACAS or in peace negotiations have tools and methods that mean they can keep working without exhausting themselves.
I have tried searching online to find out what these are, but without success. Perhaps it is part of conflict resolution training or mediation training.
Having recently spoken to a GP and a policeman about this, I find neither gets any form of training or support to deal with the emotional consequences of their work. People dying, mangled bodies, dealt with as part of their jobs, and no support. How poor is that?
